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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22591465">Sex Unicorn or Dragon Sex?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Golden_Asp/pseuds/Golden_Asp'>Golden_Asp</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>MCU Drabbles [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, M/M, Tony has a sex unicorn, Valentine's Day, Witcher 3 reference, dimension hopping, implied future dragon sex, look this is really stupid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 13:47:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>863</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22591465</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Golden_Asp/pseuds/Golden_Asp</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony would like both, please and thanks.</p>
<p>Or, Tony gives Stephen a giant stuffed 'sex' unicorn for them to have sex on for Valentine's Day.  Stephen one ups him by taking him to a dimension where there's a Tony Stark that is a dragon.  Tony is cool with it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tony Stark/Stephen Strange</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>MCU Drabbles [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1117584</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>86</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Sex Unicorn or Dragon Sex?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Here's the ironstrange request for my Valentine's day stuff.  Look, Ironstrange just isn't where my brain is at right now so this is really fucking stupid.  I apologize.  Also, three people requested this pairing but I'm not doing three separate fics.  I'm sorry, again, not super into this ship right now.  Still love it, but just don't really want to write it at the moment.</p>
<p>So again, sorry this is so dumb but I hope you enjoy it anyway.</p>
<p>not beta-ed</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“There’s one thing you need to understand about Tony,” Pepper said to Stephen, looking at him over the rim of her teacup.</p>
<p>“Only one?” Stephen asked dryly, reclined in his chair.</p>
<p>“Well, about Tony and any holiday, even the most obscure ones you’ve never heard of in your life.”</p>
<p>Stephen arched an eyebrow.  He’d been a little confused when Pepper had contacted him for a meeting near the end of January.</p>
<p>“This is about holidays?”</p>
<p>“Specifically this is about Valentine’s Day.”</p>
<p>Oh boy.</p>
<p>“I’m listening,” Stephen said slowly.</p>
<p>Pepper leaned forward.  “He will go all out.  He will buy you so much shit you don’t need or want but he’s doing it out of the goodness of his heart.  He bought me a two story tall stuffed bunny once.”</p>
<p>Stephen blinked.  “Where is it now?”</p>
<p>“At the bottom of the Pacific,” Pepper said.  “Terrorists.”</p>
<p>“Ah.”</p>
<p>Pepper sipped her tea.  “I just wanted to give you a heads up.  You two are still in the honeymoon stage of your relationship and I’d hate for a giant stuffed, I don’t know, octopus to throw you for a loop.”</p>
<p>Stephen smiled.  “I appreciate it.  I will have to think of something to give him.”</p>
<p>Pepper tilted her head.  “If anyone can outdo Tony Stark, I have a feeling it’s you.”</p>
<p>Stephen’s grin just widened.  Oh, he could have a lot of fun with this.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>:::</p>
</div>To no one’s surprise, Tony bought Stephen a massive stuffed unicorn.  It was the size of a large horse and stood in the corner of Stephen’s room, jeweled eyes staring at them judgmentally.<p>“Where on earth did you find that?” Stephen asked, tilting his head.  The mane and tail were rainbow.  Its horn sparkled.</p>
<p>“Custom job,” Tony said, bouncing on his toes.  “You like it?”</p>
<p>Why Tony would think Stephen would want a giant stuffed rainbow unicorn was beyond him.</p>
<p>“Ah, yes.  It’s…interesting.”</p>
<p>“We can have sex on it.”</p>
<p>Stephen choked, staring at Tony.  “I’m sorry?”</p>
<p>“We can have sex on it.  Game reference, the kids have been playing Witcher 3 almost nonstop and there’s a sex unicorn.”</p>
<p>“So of course you wanted your own sex unicorn.”</p>
<p>“Yeah.  Duh.”</p>
<p>Stephen rolled his eyes, hiding his fond smile.  Tony was a character, that was for sure.</p>
<p>“We will have to try out the sex unicorn later.  Come, we have reservations.”</p>
<p>Tony looked surprised.  “We do?”</p>
<p>“You are not the only one capable of planning things, Anthony.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah.  Do I need to dress up?”</p>
<p>“You are fine the way you are.”</p>
<p>Stephen opened a portal while Tony mumbled about being better than fine, he was a damn masterpiece.  Stephen huffed and pulled Tony through.  Tony stumbled after him and froze, looking around with wide eyes.</p>
<p>They were clearly no longer in New York.  Tony thought maybe Italy, but the fairy lights that seemed to be real live fairies seemed to discount that.  There was a table set up with delicious looking food and drinks on it, will-o-the-wisps floating instead of candles.</p>
<p>“What is this place?” Tony asked, spinning around.  It was bright and colorful and really quite beautiful.  Butterflies and fairies flitted around, he could hear water in the distance—a waterfall maybe—and the breeze smelled amazing.</p>
<p>“A little place I discovered during my training,” Stephen said, leading Tony to the chair.  Tony sat, still looking around with interest.</p>
<p>“So what is this for, exactly?” Tony asked.</p>
<p>“Well, I thought we could celebrate a Valentine’s Day dinner, and then…”</p>
<p>“Then?”</p>
<p>Stephen grinned at him, resting his elbows on the table.  “Did you know there are different versions of us in nearly every dimension?  There are many Tony Starks.  You did once say you wanted to…”</p>
<p>“Oh my god,” Tony said, eyes wide. </p>
<p>Stephen smirked.  “This dimension has my second favorite version of you, behind you, of course.”</p>
<p>“Yeah?  What’s so special about this dimension’s me?”</p>
<p>Stephen looked to the side and Tony froze when the trees shook.  He waited, tense and nervous, as a red and gold dragon appeared.</p>
<p>“Hello, Stephen,” the dragon said, lowering his head.  It definitely sounded like Tony Stark.</p>
<p>“Oh holy shit,” Tony said.  “I make an awesome dragon.”</p>
<p>The dragon snorted, flame licking the sky.  “And I make a very tiny human.  Hurry up and eat, both of you.  I am looking forward to what you promised, Stephen.”</p>
<p>Stephen smirked up at him.  “Oh, and you know I always deliver.”</p>
<p>Tony stared.  “Are we going to have sex with the dragon?”</p>
<p>“Happy Valentine’s Day, Tony,” Stephen said.</p>
<p>“Happy Valentine’s Day, indeed.”</p>
<p>Tony thought he had mentioned his dragon-fucking fantasy to Stephen in passing once.  It was so very nice to know he had a boyfriend who not only listened to his fantasies, but could deliver them in big ways.</p>
<p>“Damn, I love you,” Tony said.</p>
<p>“Love you too.  Hurry up.  Dragon sex is amazing.”</p>
<p>“Wait…you’ve had sex with him before?”</p>
<p>Stephen just smiled.  “I guess you’ll just have to watch and find out.”</p>
<p>“As long as I get to participate that’s fine by me!”</p>
<p>They followed the dragon back to his lair and it was a very wonderful—albeit very, <i>very</i> messy—Valentine’s Day indeed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>comments and kudos are love</p></blockquote></div></div>
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